Here’s To 60!

And just like that I am 60 years old. I can’t decide if I am happy to be transiting into the next decade. It sounds old, like I should be wiser and better equipped to handle all the bumps in my journey. But am I? My 50’s knocked me off my feet with the loss of our son, my near death medical crisis and multiple surgeries, leaving the work force and the loud screaming voice of uncertainty in my head.

I have read all the self-help, grief and wellness books you can name. All provided tidbits of good information and suggestions of what to do to make “everything” better! Just one problem, nothing works if you don’t put these words into actions. The bottom line is no one is going to rush in and save me.

But maybe it’s time to give things a fair try. If I try and fail is it really any different than not trying at all? Often people stay stuck because they don’t want to fail but if failing only gets you right back to where you started then what’s the harm? At least you gave it a try. I have to let go of needing to know that the outcome will be “worth it”. I have decided that this way of thinking is just an excuse to do nothing.

Fall is so symbolic for letting go and just allowing life to be how it is intended to be. The leaves turn beautiful colors only to wither up and die and fall to the ground. Was it wasted effort? Or was it just a beautiful reminder of the beauty of being what you are meant to be.

So what’s my new decade game plan? Taking advice from the leaves and nature is my first step. Let go of what no longer is helping me, or worse, making my life more difficult. This is no easy task but I think we can only carry so much emotional baggage. If we want to make space for new possibilities we must be willing to take a long hard look at what we can set down. Grief, anger, resentment are very heavy things to carry. Would quiet forgiveness of our mistakes free up space for seeing the awe that nature has for us? And maybe it’s time to set down the physical items we attach so much meaning to. Do we really need all this stuff that crowds us and keeps us trapped in the past?

Here’s to the new decade, the fall season of my life. It’s time to enjoy the beautiful gifts, accept the changes and embrace life. Even if life didn’t go as I had planned. Maybe I’m not living the “Golden Year’s Dream” I had envisioned when I was younger, but I can see the crossroads I have stumbled upon; go right and be bitter because it’s not what I think I deserve or go left and embrace the beauty of the here and now. LEFT IT IS!

Fly